This guilt thing is killin' me. I mean, sometimes I really feel bad about how lucky I got. But then sometimes I feel like life is a video game and I only advanced because I got lucky and not because I was skilled enough to earn passage to the next level. Sometimes it hurts... sometimes it feels good... sometimes it's just relieving. All told, what can ya do? Roll with it...

A haiku:

Life, a video
game that I play often and
usually win.

Okay... this developing trend of girls getting attached only after they're not around me anymore just needs to stop. Well, maybe not so much - I like the attention. But it's a little frustrating. I had someone call me from Argentina (Argentina!) just to shoot the shit. Is there a point if I'm never going to see her again? Hmm...? Riddle me that.

Maybe I'm just not picking up on early signs, and these are the girls who are hardy enough to continue to put up with my BS. Or maybe they're not giving the early signs and then they realize they let me go too late. Is it too much trouble to just have girls wear a tag saying a) whether they're interested and b) how much interest they have? I mean, really, would anyone be against this? Anyone? Bueller?

I'm not sayin... I'm just sayin.

A haiku:

Vacation means I've
got a lot of free time to
spend doing nothing.

A quick update:

So I was supposed to meet up with Edna and Youssef for lunch on Saturday, which I did. And 12 hours later we were still hanging out. That was some craziness. Lunch turned into drinks at Tequilaville (where none of us got tequila...) and drinks turned into dinner at some crazy vegan restaurant on the west side. Then dinner turned into chillin at the arcade in the bowling alley at the Port Authority (air hockey was, and remains to be, the shit). Then we were all too tired to do anything else and dispersed.

It's good seein them (and Suazo and Harmonica). That group just rolls different. It's not the same with anyone else. Different vibe. We just all click. Like a good basketball team. Everyone knows what everyone else is going to do, we set each other up well and everyone finishes strong for the most part. It's good times on a bad day, and we don't have too many of those.

Spent Sunday chillin' with my girl Dawn from Atlanta. Met the mom, showed her a little Brooklyn, good times all told. Sometimes I think I have a gift for getting myself involved in complicated situations. It's a talent, really. I'm writing a book one day, promise.

The movie Closer is pretty ill. You pretty much dislike all four characters by the end of the film, but the dialogue and acting is so good that I didn't care. Saw Team America: World Police yesterday and nearly pissed myself four times. Funny flick, that one.

Oh, and at 12:49 this morning, my brother and I established that the rubber band rule is in effect in the house AT ALL TIMES, even when I think he'd be sleeping based on past experience. Yea... Squrred, no damage if you read this, I'm just sayin.

So I thought I was going to start beatboxing after I found that site... and then I remembered Kenny Muhammad. If you're not going to be the best at what you do, what's the point?

A haiku:
Sometimes I wish I
were good at many more things
than I am in life.

Whoa... did I find the greatest thing ever - possibly at the expense of my media law grade. Check this site out: VIDEO BEATBOX TUTORIALS.

Y'all need to check out Matisyahu. He's got street cred - he caught a profile in October's XXL. Here's a vid clip from Jimmy Kimmel: http://www.jewschool.com/jimmykimmel.mov.

A haiku:

Finals are awful.
They take up all of my time.
I wish to be home.

Another:
If it is awkward
if I allow it to be
it must be my fault.

A third:
I hope I don't fail
media law this thursday -
I leave here in May

Yeah... Highlights from last night's adventures:

1) Actually surprising Miriam with her birthday party. I didn't think that ever actually worked.

2) Hearing Lauren Rauch tell me about the dream she had in which I was getting all kinds of attention from the ladies because I stopped eating meat.

2a) Hearing her ask me if it actually happened, because she didn't think so, but wasn't convinced.

3) Going to Goodfellas and flirting my ass off for the better part of two hours.

3a) Not getting her number because I went to the bathroom and came back to find out the entire group I came with left.

3a-1) Thinking that it didn't really matter because even though she was a cutie, she vehemently defended New Jersey in the face of all reason (like New York being better). Anyone who does that, I'm probably not going to get along with in the long run.

3b) Knowing enough people that I wasn't stranded when that group of friends peaced out on me.

4) Going back to the AEII house and watching The Girl Next Door, which actually managed to sneak plot points past my prescient predictive abilities.

5) Leaving the house at 4:15 in the a.m. for Highland Hills in Stalford's dad's car only to find out I left my keys at Miriam's party.

5a) Searching for my coal black wallet in the dark for 45 minutes (not in vain, praise Yaweh) after it fell out of my waistband walking from the car to my door.

6) Going back to the house and watching the 12-minute uncensored Tip Drill video in Stalford's room.

6a) Not being able to tell if it was the best video I had ever seen or the worst thing ever. After three viewings. (Had to make sure, you see)

7) Waking up completely refreshed on three hours sleep to see the Lindsay Lohan video for Rumors in high-definition wide screen, which I quickly decided was the best thing ever.

7a) Seeing that I woke up once again at 9:24 - I do that without fail every time I crash on a couch. It's absolutely uncanny. Ask Regina.

8) Getting a ride back. At 11 this morning.

Good times right there. That's a wrap. Be easy.

An update on the life and times:

I have one negative internship response and approximately 9 of 21 receipt acknowledgements. I've got great headstarts at NY Newsday and the LA Times, pending my completion of Newsday's writing test and my uncle receiving my emailed resume.

I've completed one of two take-home exams, have multiple PR assignments to complete and have a media law final next week.

I'm back in Brooklyn on Dec. 17, and will be remaining there until the 30, when I leave the country with NC Hillel as a participant on Birthright Israel.

I acted to resolve my strung-out situation, and was only strung out further. It continues to drive me nuts, even though I really, really would rather it didn't. A lot. (Can you tell I'm over it?)

After Esh's party and chillin' with Leens' Brandeis crew, I've decided I'm fantastic at flirting with girls. I'm especially good around friends of friends. However, I've also decided I'm not very good at asking for numbers. I plan on correcting this flaw in the near future. I'ma be like Ray after Lily told him he was too late. (Yeah, I just used RFR to prove a point. Deal with it.)

A haiku:

I wish I knew what
I was doing more often
than I do right now

A haiku:

Sometimes a no is
needed to end relations
that go on too long.

A bonus haiku, by request:

Dawn is amazing
I owe her for making me
do this once daily.

I've got a lot of writing ideas - mostly for the Relationships I Might Have Had compiliation I plan on putting together. But feeling like I don't have the time is killin me. I'ma get on it, promise. For now, you're going to have to settle for two more haikus in the ongoing series:

Time runs out quickly
But passes so slow I don't
notice it is gone.

I take solace in
the rhythms music makes in
my mind, which it soothes.